The #1 Fear Advisors Face When Selling
For most of us, selling to prospective clients can be one of the most nerve-wracking aspects of our job—maybe, we could even go so far as to say, selling is “cringe-worthy!” Despite having the knowledge, experience, and qualifications, many women struggle with a deep-rooted fear when selling: the fear of rejection. This fear can manifest in various forms, from worries about not being seen as credible to concerns about being too pushy or assertive.
Understanding and addressing this fear is essential, not just for growing your business, but for building genuine, lasting relationships with clients. Here’s a closer look at why this fear arises and, more importantly, how we can overcome it and sell with more confidence.
The Root of the Fear: Rejection and Self-Doubt
The fear of rejection is universal, but for women in finance, it often comes with additional layers of self-doubt. One reason for this is the industry itself. Historically male-dominated, finance has been slow to embrace gender diversity. As a result, many women feel they need to work twice as hard to prove their worth. This pressure can lead to ‘imposter syndrome,’ where highly capable advisors question their abilities, even when they’re fully qualified.
Additionally, female advisors may fear being judged or dismissed by prospective clients because of their gender. Concerns about whether they’ll be taken seriously can add to the anxiety, leading them to hesitate or over-prepare in an attempt to prove themselves and avoid rejection.
Why These Fears Matter
While these fears are understandable, they can undermine an advisor’s effectiveness during sales conversations. Clients are highly attuned to the energy and confidence of the person they’re working with. If an advisor is overly anxious about being rejected or not being taken seriously, it can create an energy of neediness or insecurity—something that clients can intuitively sense. This, ironically, increases the chances of losing the sale.
Instead of focusing on the fear of rejection, the key is to shift the focus toward building connection and trust with the client. Selling isn’t about convincing someone to buy something; it’s about offering real solutions to their challenges and helping them reach their financial goals. As women, we know how uncomfortable it feels to be sold to, and we don’t like it! So let’s reframe “selling” and embrace something better.
How to Overcome the Fear and Sell Authentically
Here are five strategies advisors can use to overcome the fear of rejection and connect more authentically with their clients:
1. Reframe “Selling” to Embrace “Helping”
One of the most effective ways to overcome the fear of rejection is to change the way you think about selling. Instead of viewing it as a high-pressure transaction where you need to prove your worth, think of it as a service. Your role as a financial advisor is to help clients achieve their goals. By focusing on how you can serve them, the fear of rejection takes a back seat to the value you’re bringing to the conversation.
When you come from a place of service, clients will naturally feel that your intentions are genuine, which fosters trust and makes them more likely to work with you.
2. Focus on Building Trust, Not Closing the Deal
Trust is the foundation of any successful advisor-client relationship. Instead of focusing on closing the deal, simply focus on establishing trust with your prospective client. Take the time to listen to their concerns, understand their goals, and empathize with their situation. Clients are far more likely to engage with someone they trust, and building that trust should be the priority.
Once trust is established, the "sale" becomes a natural outcome, rather than the sole objective.
3. Detach from the Outcome
Fear of rejection is often tied to an attachment to the outcome—whether or not the client says “Yes.” However, detaching from the outcome can significantly reduce anxiety. Instead of fixating on whether the client will sign up, focus on the process: Are you providing value? Are you building a relationship?
By shifting your focus to the quality of the interaction rather than the result, you alleviate the pressure on yourself and, paradoxically, make the client feel more comfortable in making a decision.
4. Tap Into Your Authenticity
One of the biggest misconceptions is that women need to adopt a more masculine, aggressive sales approach to succeed. In reality, the opposite is often true. Clients, especially female clients, are drawn to authenticity. Instead of trying to fit into a mold, embrace your unique qualities—whether that’s your empathy, your communication style, or your deep listening skills. These traits can be your greatest strengths in building relationships with clients.
Authenticity not only helps clients feel more connected to you, but it also allows you to feel more comfortable and confident in genuinely building a relationship based on trust.
5. Practice Self-Compassion
Finally, it’s important to acknowledge that fear of rejection is natural and doesn’t mean you’re incapable. It’s a part of being human, and even the most successful advisors experience it. Practicing self-compassion—treating yourself with kindness and understanding—can help you manage that fear. Remember, rejection isn't a reflection of your worth or abilities—it’s a normal occurrence, but it doesn’t define you or your potential.
By being kind to yourself, you create the mental space to move forward without being weighed down by fear.
Conclusion: From Fear to Confidence
Most of us entered the financial services industry to genuinely help clients and build a rewarding career that is both financially successful and intellectually stimulating. Being "salesy" doesn’t resonate with us or our clients. By shifting the focus from selling to connecting, building trust, detaching from the outcome, and showing up authentically, potential clients will lower their defenses—creating space for a genuine relationship. This not only helps them achieve their financial goals and dreams, but also allows you to create the career you’ve always dreamed of!
-Holly and Beth
If you have any questions about this topic or anything else, please feel free to reach out. We would be happy to schedule a brief 15-minute call to address your questions or learn more about you and your business.